Trying to Feel Alive

I run up the hill as fast as my legs can take me
my lungs burning and heaving
my ears pounding and hot with the stirred blood

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH I shout
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
YAAAAARGH

I speed downwards immediately
stumbleing and exhausted
legs pumping stupidly and seperately
before slumping safely forward to my knees
I rock backwards before stretching out my legs.

I should feel better; I am trying to feel alive.

The tear i can barely feel in the corner of my eye
tells me it has not worked.
The numbness remains.

I am pleased I tried though,
that I made the effort is a comfort...