The Last Cloud Home

Hopscotch

2009-12-22T23:58:00.004Z

I never understood
The joy people got
from Hopscotch
I didn't understand the rules
I still don't

Fred The Ant

2009-12-07T23:56:00.002Z

I really don’t think
Fred
Is a suitable name for an ant
Said Fred the ant

Complain to Tony
He was told

Tony, with all due respect
Fred
Is no name for an ant,
It does not suit an ant,
Could I be re-named as Clive?

No. Fred will do you just fine.
You don’t look like a Clive.
You stick with Fred
And don’t waste my time
There’s a lot of work to do.

Fred went back
To his work
And thought how different
Life would be
If he had been given a name like Clive

Hurling

2009-11-29T23:49:00.004Z

The year Scotland
Over achieved in the hurling
Was weird yet amazing
It was snowy
And I was inspired
But the women looked
Like dinner ladies

Fat

2009-11-25T00:13:00.004Z

Twenty yards in advance
Waiting by the tree until I pass
To avoid an unwanted circumstance
I was unaware that being fat
Could be such an inconvenience

Construction

2009-10-29T22:23:00.004Z

Because we have the same style of shoe
And share the platform for thirty seconds
Some mornings
I have constructed an elaborate future
Of endless joy spent together
All of which could come crumbling down
If we were ever to mutter a word to each other

Not So Special

2009-10-29T00:20:00.002Z

Do you remember the day when you realised
You weren't so special after all?

The centre of the Universe
Cruelly whipped away
Into regions unknown

Never to fully recover
The chase of that invisible radar
Is your secret purpose

I am special, I am special.

You're not though, are you?

Caricatures

2009-08-10T22:55:00.005+01:00

Sometimes when I see
An old lady
With lipstick and fine attire
I can't help but think
Of how ridiculous she looks
Like a monkey in a dress
A vulgar caricature

Oh, I know
That she's just trying to make the most
Of what she has got
And that's all anyone can do

But it makes everything look so silly to me
I find it so hard to take anything seriously
The world just doesn't seem real
So to try and make some sense of it all
I thought that I'd write it down
(Doesn’t work)

Funeral

2009-08-09T22:51:00.002+01:00

A tear down the cheek
Can still be sweet
The salty flavour
Leaves distance from the emotions
I shouldn't be breaking down
The surprising
Tastes of my tears
I should be sad
Mournful and unhappy
But no-one knows
Damn my wandering mind

Come With Me

2009-08-06T21:43:00.001+01:00

I see you
In these words you gave
Come talk to me
For one week
Let us thrash, bully, heimlich
The thoughts from you
I don't want to hear you talking
Like someone who
Already exists
If you can't take the punches
I can't read the words

Westminster Fried Chicken

2009-08-04T23:39:00.003+01:00

Chicken in a burger
Chicken in a bucket
Chicken on the bone
So you can lick and suck it
I can't believe they don't have a veggie option

We can remove the lettuce
Add some extra mayo
Anything you want
All you have to do is say so
I can't believe they don't have a veggie option

Would you complain
If every single eatery
Had this many options
Of savoury meatary
I can't believe they don't have a veggie option

The choice on offer
Should be held dear
Don't take it for granted
It wasn't always here

A nugget
A swizzler
A bucket
A twizzler

I know they're all chicken
It doesn't really matter
The people must love it
Because they're getting fatter

They don't want veg
(If they did they'd ask)
If they wanted more
They'd put us to task

But there would be a mutiny
A government under scrutiny
If all we had to eat
Was chicken greased
In different ways

As I make my choice
In the WFC booth
I find myself thinking
I can't believe there's no veggie option

Rejects Union

2009-07-21T23:02:00.004+01:00

nannies and goats
weasels and stoats
apples and throats
horses and oats
castles with moats
monkeys in coats
with musical notes
all met up
in john o groats
after being rejected
by noah's boats

Beard

2009-06-24T23:30:00.002+01:00

I can't help feeling
there is something deeper
to the fact that I am unable to
grow a full beard
maybe
it is a sign that i am not yet a fully mature adult
I don't want a beard though

When

2009-06-18T23:06:00.002+01:00

When you gonna need me?
When you gonna want me?
When you gonna ask me?
When you gonna
When you gonna
When you gonna
When you gonna
When, when, when, when
When you gonna take me?
When you gonna claim me?
When you gonna have me?
When you gonna break me?

Stamp Collecting

2009-06-16T23:18:00.002+01:00

A boy asked, 'Do you collect stamps?'
'Yes!' came the excited reply.

Ouch.

The boy asked again, menacingly, 'Do you collect stamps?'
'No.'
'Well here's one to start your collection...'

Ouch.

'Do you collect stamps?' the boy asked the smallest of his three targets.
'I have completed my collection.'

Oh.

The Boy with Nails in His Eyes by Tim Burton

2009-04-30T23:27:00.004+01:00

The Boy with Nails in His Eyes
put up his aluminum tree.
It looked pretty strange
because he couldn't really see.

Anticipation

2009-04-26T21:15:00.002+01:00

It doesn't get better
Than waiting for a letter
Unless you imagine a life
With a girl before you've met her

Internal Pain

2009-04-19T22:58:00.003+01:00

Unsaid words

Untold pain

Lesson taught

Once again

Maybe now

Not in vain

Ee-By-Gum

2009-04-15T23:55:00.002+01:00

Ee-By-Gum
Said the man to the tree
As he sighed with relief
And started to...

Ee-By-Gum
Said the leaf to the ants
As it smelt the state
Of the yellowy...

Ee-By-Gum
Said the ant to the bee
As he started to drown
In the steaming...

Ee-by-Gum
Said the bee to the shrew
As she noticed that
The man needed to...

Ee-by-Gum
Said the shrew to the mole
As his whiskers were covered
By a gift from a...

Ee-by-Gum
Choked the mole to the man
Hold it in
Next time if you can.

History

2009-04-14T23:11:00.006+01:00

I always thought you could only love
Me
But looking back I realise
It could have been anybody
You just needed someone to be with.
It makes our years together
A bit of a waste
We had some fun but it was essentially
All a bit pointless
And what did we ever achieve?
Then again,
You could say that about the history
Of the whole Human race

The Bus Driver's Prayer by Ian Dury

2009-03-24T23:30:00.004Z

Our Father,
Who art in Hendon
Harrow Road by thy name
Thy Kingdom Come
Thy Wimbledon
In Erith as it is in Hendon.
Give us this day our Berkampstead
And forgive us our Westminsters
As we forgive those who Westminster against us.
Lead us not into Temple Station
And deliver us from Kingston
The purley and the Crawley,
For Iver and Iver
Crouch End

Drizzle

2009-03-18T23:39:00.003Z

You weigh me down.
Yet I only realise,
Like another layer of gravity,
Once the relief lifts from my shoulders.

You soak me through.
But my tongue feels nowt as it hangs out
And my eyebrows are sufficient protection.

You annoy me.
But don’t fuel me with the passion
To run.

You‘re drizzle.
And when I stop to think,
God, I hate you.

Grapefruit

2009-03-16T23:48:00.007Z

I shall wheel a grapefruit*

In honour of the dead

In honour of the people

Who looked upon and said

You'll never wheel a grapefruit

You haven't got the hands

You haven't got the stamina

You haven't got the fans

*This is an old Lithuanian proverb my Grandfather used to often repeat to me, although I’m unable to recall the native expression he said before repeating with the English translation.
It means to show the determination to go ahead and do something against all logic and advice because you truly believe in it. Apparently, when I was very young my Grandad would mutter the phrase at me as I showed this determination to do apparently pointless and unconventional activities.
In my teenage years, when my Grandad became wheelchair bound, I would wheel him the short distance from his bungalow to the village pub for a shared pint in the roadside garden and we would sing this nonsense song of ours together (him joining me to emphasise the rhyming last word of alternate lines) much to our own amusement and to the confusion of friends of either of our separate generations who passed.
Strangers often assumed I was making fun of a mad old man, but we were both making fun of a mad old world.

Nice

2009-03-09T23:05:00.003Z

Nice is twice
The word
You’ll ever be
So stop the propa
Ganda
You think you’re such a
Rebel
To sneer at me
Say a word that better describes so perfectly what I define?
You can’t
So use me
Say me love me
And don’t be insulted
When you’re confronted
Or complimented
With my name
I’m nice I’m here
'Til the next Shakespere
Invents a better word for you all
To use to death
Through a lack of your own
Imagination.

Popova

2009-03-02T21:59:00.002Z

Making friends, age 5

2009-02-24T23:45:00.004Z

Incey Wincey spider
Climbed up inside ‘er
He said with a grin and a dance.
With his too long legs
In his too short shorts
And noticing his sandals
I was pleased with the stubbornness
That led to my lace ups.
Looking at the drainpipe, I replied
“Darth Vader’s willy”
The thought of the dark lord
Standing in the staffroom
Finding a hole in the wall
To dangle out his manhood
Was sufficiently silly
For the kid with the loudest laugh;
He thought I was the funniest.
Given the crown
Of the classroom clown
It may have lost the shine
Over time
But it was never dislodged.

Feet

2009-02-23T23:58:00.003Z

I don't like feet

I never have

I think it's neat

we wear socks

day and night

and shoes on top

is only right

keep them hidden

I think we should

cos they're not up

to any good

Acid

2009-02-11T21:40:00.004Z

I don't need
Acid to see
The beauty of a tree
But I do
When I look at you

Grey

2009-02-11T21:39:00.003Z

Boring staid stupid
Grey
The colour to hate
School socks and school jumpers
Old people's hair and old people's minds
A suit and a shirt
Wheelchairs and crutches
The sky that traps us inside on a Sunday

Little me
Would be ashamed
Of the amount I adore
The simplicity
Of a grey woollen sweater

fragile heart

2009-02-10T00:08:00.003Z

Couplet by Louis 'Moondog' Hardin

2009-01-25T11:55:00.006Z

You like? you like the thoughts? you like the thoughts i think? you do?

They're naught to me compared to just one fleeting thought of you.

Shave

2009-01-22T23:48:00.003Z

Four days growth
Means
Another four days of disappointment
How dare I look
Myself in the eye
Or even the chin

Next time I see you
I will have done more
Than grow stubble,
I lie

Life Swap

2009-01-22T00:26:00.005Z

If Conan was the Keating
And Ronan was the Barbarian
Thulsa woulda dodged a beating
Westlife coulda been Rastafarian

Laps

2009-01-14T23:17:00.005Z

I want to lap you up
Like a cat slurps milk

Scrap that
Like a dog gulps water

Froth of joy
Overcoming lack of technique
I’ll wag my tail when I’m finished;
You’ll pat me on the head

Dribble

2009-01-14T17:46:00.004Z

I had a desperate urge To rebel.
I walked into the centre
Of the town I live in.
I stood, not in anyone’s way,
And held my mouth slightly open.

I dribbled down my chin.

I resisted the natural urge to lick
And the spit eventually traveled groundwards.
In just fourteen minutes
I had dribble coating my chin.

It made people angry!

Good. I was satisfied.
I try not to think too much about why.

Aldridge

2009-01-11T19:26:00.004Z

Five Nights of Bleeding by LKJ

2008-12-19T00:36:00.002Z

madness...madness...
madness tight on the heads of the rebels
the bitterness erupts like a hot-blast
broke glass
rituals of blood on the burning
served by a cruel in-fighting
five nights of horror an of bleeding
broke glass
cold blades as sharp as the eyes of hate
an the stabbings
it's war amongst the rebels
madness...madness...war.

The Wolf

2008-12-17T23:09:00.008Z

A summer forever preserved
In a plum jam nostalgia
By a knock at a door
Bold and wooden
In an empty wide cobbled straße
No windows to aid curiosity
A second knock
Equals sinking realisation
That one more unanswered knock remains
Before twelve months and many miles of hope
Freeze to a moment of tightened recollection
Golden laughing and sepia lusting

This is silence this is pain

And I turn away
From the Wolf with a V
Who now belongs only ever to the past

The Little Doctor Blues

2008-12-15T23:56:00.003Z

Oooh, my feet are cold!
Its not cos I’m old,
I’ve just been told
To put ice in my shoes,
To prevent the blues
And make me more bold.

Oooh, my elbows kill!
Its not cos I’m ill,
Its just until
I can take out the fork,
That helps me talk
Against my will.

Oooh, my eyes are stinging!
Not that I’m whingeing;
My health is hinging
On looking up to the sun,
It allows me some fun
'Til my soul is singing.

Oooh, thank you nurse!
For lifting the curse,
So I avoid the hearse
Now back to school,
You’ve helped us all
But learning comes first.

Teeth

2008-12-11T22:25:00.008Z

Gnash, gnash of the teeth
Throb, throb of the gums
A hive of activity
In every cavity
'Til the food hits the tum.

I Like To Think I’m Clever

2008-12-04T22:23:00.003Z

I like to think I’m clever
full of wonder to be shared
I could explain the world to you
if anybody cared
I like to think I am artistic
and creative to a fault
But still aware that I am
from-the-Earth pure salt
I like to think I am intriguing,
worthy of mystique -
Imagine being discussed
in terms of being unique
I like to think I've got it all to come,
a lazy genius
To be told I'm one of those
who make up for the rest of us

I like to think I'm clever
even though I know I'm not
I like to think I'm wise
even though I know I'm not
I like to think I'm wonderful
even though I know I'm not

I'm boring stupid dull thick pretentious and self obsessed
But none to a level that may be considered of any interest

Bacon

2008-12-02T21:23:00.003Z

Hawk Roosting by Ted Hughes

2008-11-26T23:02:00.006Z

I sit in the top of the wood, my eyes closed.
Inaction, no falsifying dream
Between my hooked head and hooked feet:
Or in sleep rehearse perfect kills and eat.

The convenience of the high trees!
The air's buoyancy and the sun's ray
Are of advantage to me;
And the earth's face upward for my inspection.

My feet are locked upon the rough bark.
It took the whole of Creation
To produce my foot, my each feather:
Now I hold creation in my foot

Or fly up, and revolve it all slowly -
I kill where I please because it is all mine.
There is no sophistry in my body:
my manners are tearing off heads -

The allotment of death.
For the one path of my flight is direct
Through the bones of the living.
No arguments assert my right:

The sun is behind me.
Nothing has changed since I began.
My eye has permitted no change.
I am going to keep things like this.

Runner

2008-11-22T00:20:00.002Z

A thumbs-up
On entering the bend
If you were to know
Quite how much this meant
You'd run another 800 metres
Without a single breath

Bechemal

2008-11-20T23:58:00.002Z

All you ever gave me
Was the know-how
To make a good bechemal sauce
Once I believed
We’d create a whole lot more
But now I think about it
Cheese sauce is about right
The colour matches your collar not your cuffs
And it was, after all
Quite simple

Knowledge

2008-11-08T16:47:00.002Z

I know.
I know.
I know.
And I know that too
Please
Say something to excite me
Interest me ignite me
Say a word I don't
Agree with
Shake between my teeth
And enjoy being with
I know
I know
I really do know
The reason that I'm silent
Is that I don't know what to say
You bore me
Ignore me
Please just go away leave me
With the knowledge that I've got
It's a lot
More interesting than anything
I've ever heard you say

So I Was Told

2008-11-07T00:12:00.002Z

It's all about the rhythm
the stealth, the wealth
and the jism

Wyndham Lewis

2008-11-02T20:38:00.003Z

Limbo (Baby Limbo) by John Cooper Clark

2008-10-27T21:29:00.003Z

their lives are a mystery

they make it their career

in the single files of history

fall and disappear

swearing they'll get even

with all those other creeps

philistines and Heathens

they violently sleep

or steal from cigarette machines

just for the change

to get back to where they've been

a doorway in the rain

back in the confession box

back in the slums

desire burns like chicken pox

underneath the thumbs

a refugee from purgatory

wears a crown of thorns

turns out she's a gringo

of hard circumstance

limbo baby limbo

they want to see you dance

take the tradesman's entrance

take it out on a tramp

every fucking sentence

complains about the damp

the only girl is a faint cry

in the garden of cement

wait until the paint dries

it's a big event

look through heaven's window

with their opalescent panes

limbo baby limbo

down the Boulevard of shame

Safe

2008-10-25T17:23:00.003+01:00

A leaf falling from the top of a tall tree
Has acheived more than me
I am unable to move beyond my Mother's womb

Kicking through the heaps of autumn leaves
While my skeletal brother clings limply to a branch
He tells the sparrows he's an individual

But we both know he remains
Because he can't let go

Supporting Spurs 2008

2008-10-23T23:01:00.000+01:00

Bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody
Fuck.

Words

2008-10-19T23:45:00.006+01:00

So what
If I am mildly obsessed with finding the perfect font

At least
I am showing an appreciation towards a man-made object

For once
Doesn't that make me more of a boy?

Nose

2008-10-14T23:36:00.004+01:00

The nose knows

More than the fingers
More than the toes

The nose knows

And like the ears
It always grows

The nose knows

So always follow
Where it goes

The nose knows

I don't know why
It just got chose.

Landy

2008-10-07T23:21:00.006+01:00

Greek by Ian Pindar

2008-09-30T19:55:00.005+01:00

Left alone, you grow from experience
A Black Beard
A black beard and a head teeming with ideas
Some of them really weird
But hardly unique;
Entertained long ago by a Greek
Even the beard

Clog

2008-09-23T23:00:00.002+01:00

Is it true
That’s not a shoe?’
That’s right, it is a clog.

‘Is it true
That this non-shoe
Is not made
From leather nor suede?’
That’s right, it’s from a log

It is true
That all you do
To make this non-shoe
Is nail a c onto a log
And there you have yourself a clog.

'Is it true
You can nail water?'
Asked my confused daughter.
A ‘c’ is a ‘c’ but not the sea,
Do you see?
'I don’t, but I s'pose I oughta'.

Lick

2008-09-20T15:50:00.004+01:00

I am sure that you would find
A joke engraved upon my spine
If you were to
Lick, lick
Lick, lick
Lick me like a lollipop

Loyal

2008-09-19T13:05:00.005+01:00

Your mind sparkles like no other
I can see your education isn't taught
Tell me, where have you come from?
I've never met someone like you before

Maybe its this that makes you good looking
But the combination sure is deadly
And from what you say
You can come away
And spend your life with me

But

I'm loyal to a fault. Baby
Even when its no good for me
And although I was useless at algebra
I'm loyal to the nth degree

I'm loyal to a fault. Baby
It'll go on my headstone, you see
Its not what you want to hear right now but
I'm loyal to a fault. Baby

MP3

2008-09-10T23:13:00.005+01:00

I wanna see the peeling reminder
Of how much I spent;
Seven hours toil meant
I'll never discard that Teenage Fanclub LP
Even if it never got on with me.

Or the biro'd second-hand price indented,
Telling tales of Oxfam, Ealing
The time spent healing
From a heavy night before
And in refuge from domestic war.

I wanna run my finger over the soft tear in the sleeve
Caused by my rage
In a more passionate age
And because I never wanted to go to that party in the first place.

The scribbles of a lost friend discoloured by time
The song titles alone
Evoke feelings unknown
Memories you can't get
Without a time-capsule cassette

It makes no sense
So I'm told
By those desperate not to be seen to be old
Well you can keep yer mp3
You can stick it
'Til I can kick it like my vinyl
'Til I can scratch it like a CD
You can keep your mp3
I like my C90, 60 & 30
I wanna see the cover
Or as I say, artwork
I wanna search with my thumbs
Not scroll through a database
That can be organised with one click
But never in a way that satisfies the soul

There's nothing wrong with a bit of old
A bit of slow
A bit of holding the physical
To help you contemplate
These abstract noises that mean nothing and everything.

Ipple-apple Tree by Spike Milligan

2008-08-26T23:41:00.004+01:00

I'm going to plint an apple tree
Not plint, I mean to plant,
You cannot plint an apple tree
You cint, i mean you can't.
I mean you plant
You do not plint
And I mean can't
When I say cint
If you insist and plint a tree
Ipples will grow, not apples you see?

Personal Pollution

2008-08-25T21:51:00.004+01:00

I did a pee
In the sea
While I was in Goa, India
My Mother said I could

Where d'you think it goes
When you flush our toilet?
Huh
I was pretty sure
Someone cleaned my waste
Before it went to sea
But the details escaped me
So I didn't say anything

And it took me forever
To release my wee
With the waves reprimanding me
Each slap causing guilt
As I slowly emptied with relief

Two weeks further
Looking out to sea
In Fort Kochin, Kerala
No matter how hard the sun
Beat down on the sea front
The tempting coolness
Would not be felt and
As each wave crashed against
The square rocks I realised
The dirtiness robbed the pleasure

Every dishwater wave
Grimy, polluted and disgusting
Was scolding me
Never to pee in the sea
Again

Requests for Various Friends

2008-08-20T00:02:00.003+01:00

I'm sorry, Mr Tuna Roll
Will you attend my funeral.
After all, we are related
As Mr Darwin clearly stated.

If you don't mind Mr Goat
I'd like the hair that's on your throat.
Its not that I can't grow a beard,
Simply yours is so revered.

Excuse me Mr Chewing Gum
Can I stick you on my thumb.
Then I'll know the way to go
you can lead and i'll follow.

Hello there Zeberdee
You surely must remember me.
I'm the one who always said
Its never time to go to bed.

Washing Line

2008-08-19T23:04:00.008+01:00

A shock
Despatched by my Mother
As she pegs out the washing
The line symbolising
Before and after
The moment burnt in
Literally
Due to a piercing sun
Shielded eyes still peeking up
I realised
I am not the centre of the Universe
The world does not revolve around me
And everything exists independently
A shock

I forget the question posed to garner this answer.

Welcome Home

2008-08-05T18:10:00.007+01:00

Swollen sweaty lumps
sitting breathing
confront me
leave me reeling

eyes disgusted
by the pasty skin on offer
ugliness surrounds
suffucates and drowns me

holiday
might as well have been a coma
welcome home

He's in love with a brown paper bag by John Hegley

2008-07-24T23:42:00.007+01:00

his mother she was disapointed
it's not exactly what she had in mind
but eventually she came to except it
how could a mother reject it
he's in love and love isn't easy to find
people stop and people stare
people say they're a crazy pair
but there's many a crazy scene
between a husband and a wife
he found it by a market stall
it's a bit screwed up but aren't we all
an empty bag is an empty life
and he doesn't mind if you caress
his little scrap of happiness
he's in love but he doesn't want to possess
and one day he came up to me
he held the bag so tenderly
and he held it out to me
and I said thanks a lot
but I don't think i could cope
I've already got a steady relationship
with a light blue envelope
it was nice of you to offer though

People

2008-07-21T23:05:00.010+01:00

I don't like people

and I don't know why

I don't like people

and it makes me cry

I don't like people

we just don't click

I don't like people

I think they're thick

I don't like people

I wish it weren't true

but I don't like people

and I don't like YOU!

Shell

2008-07-14T15:39:00.009+01:00

I think that it is time
to crawl inside my shell

Until the clouds pass

Until the stars fall

And I will only re-emerge
when I become
less booooring.

One Man

2008-07-11T11:30:00.003+01:00

One man can't change the world

One man

One man can't change the world

It's not that I'm not angry
It's not that I don't care
It's just that my outrage
has turned into despair

It is the realisation
That it takes a whole nation
And that one man can't

One man

One man can't change the world

People Dub Version

2008-07-08T23:02:00.008+01:00

I
And
I
And
I
We
I
I
I
I
But
And…YOU!

pigs

2008-07-03T23:15:00.008+01:00

Battery Acid Kiss by Mike Benson

2008-06-21T15:33:00.004+01:00

YOU NEVER CHEATED OR
MISTREATED ME
YOU LET ME FAIL SO
HONESTLY
KINDNESS WAS YOUR
VICE
AND WE VICED SO NICE
TOGETHER
TALON ADDICTED AND
READY FOR THE SCRATCH
YOU WERE THE
SCRATCHER AND I WAS
THE RASH
AND ALL THE TIME WE
SPENT TOGETHER
WELL YOU CAN KEEP THE
CHANGE
IT WAS NEVER A WASTE
OF MY MONEY HONEY
IT'S JUST MY WHOLE
SWOLLEN SOUL FEELS

REARRANGED

Don't Monkey With My Heart

2008-06-18T21:52:00.004+01:00

Please, don't monkey with my heart
don't monkey with my mind
that would be a start
and that would be so kind.

Please, don't monkey with my heart
its really not a toy
in fact it is a part
of a very delicate boy.

Please, don't monkey with my heart
don't monkey with my brain
that would be a start
it would help to keep me sane.

Please, don't monkey with my heart
it's a heart that loves a lot
and it couldn't bare to part
with the monkey it has got.

Blades of Grass

2008-06-12T22:43:00.006+01:00

Try counting the blades of grass.
Every single one.
Imagine you have.
Was it worth it?

Various Fruit Explained

2008-06-11T23:43:00.004+01:00

What is a fig?
A fig is a date
But not so big.

What is a date?
A date is a grape
In a sticky fate.

What is a grape?
A grape is a raison
In better shape.

What is a raison?
A raison’s a sultana
That’s less amazin'.

What is a sultana?
A sultana’s a prune
Sweet like a banana.

What is a prune?
A prune is a fig
But just more broon.

What is a fig?
A fig is a date
But not so big.

Chicks Dig Scars

2008-06-07T19:12:00.001+01:00

if girls love cars
how come I haven't been kissed?
i heard chicks dig scars
so i'll go and slit my wrists.

Beautiful Cosmos by Ivor Cutler

2008-05-25T00:24:00.003+01:00

You are the centre of your little world and I am of mine.
Now and again we meet for tea, we're two of a kind.

This is our universe, cups of tea.

We have a beautiful cosmos,
We have a beautiful cosmos.

What do we talk of whenever we meet? Nothing at all!
You sit with a sandwich I look at a roll.

Sometimes I open my mouth, and shut it.

We have a beautiful cosmos, you and me.
We have a beautiful cosmos.

You are the centre of your little world and I am of mine.
Now and again we meet for tea, we're two of a kind.

This is our universe, cups of tea.

We have a beautiful cosmos, you and me.
We have a beautiful cosmos.

Late Flowering Lust by John Betjamin

2008-04-18T00:00:00.011+01:00

My head is bald, my breath is bad
Unshaven is my chin,
I have not now the joys i had
When I was young in sin.

I run my fingers down your dress
With brandy-certain aim
And you respond to my caress
And maybe feel the same.

But I've a picture of my own
On this reunion night,
Wherein two skeletons are shewn
To hold each other tight;

Dark sockets look on emptiness
Which once was loving-eyed,
The mouth that opens for a kiss
Has got no tongue inside.

I cling to you inflamed with fear
As now you cling to me,
I feel how frail you are my dear
And wonder what will be--

A week? or twenty years remain?
And then--what kind of death?
A losing fight with frightful pain
Or a gasping fight for breath?

Too long we let our bodies cling,
We cannot hide disgust
At all the thoughts that in us spring
From this late-flowering lust.

Trees Number Four

2008-04-17T23:31:00.004+01:00

O Trees O Trees
How ist thou so wise?
With n’e’er a whisper
And you ain’t got no eyes.

O Trees O Trees
The calm thou bestow
Thine wrinkles tell none
Of wot thee must know

O Trees O Trees
I beg of thine, plix;
Excrete with yon leaves
Thou knowledge o’ sticks.

exes

2008-04-10T23:12:00.003+01:00

sexes with my exes
doesn't turn me on.
sexes with my exes
is proof i can be wrong.
sexes with my exes
is a moment long gone.

Trying to Feel Alive

2008-04-07T23:03:00.002+01:00

I run up the hill as fast as my legs can take me
my lungs burning and heaving
my ears pounding and hot with the stirred blood

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH I shout
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
YAAAAARGH

I speed downwards immediately
stumbleing and exhausted
legs pumping stupidly and seperately
before slumping safely forward to my knees
I rock backwards before stretching out my legs.

I should feel better; I am trying to feel alive.

The tear i can barely feel in the corner of my eye
tells me it has not worked.
The numbness remains.

I am pleased I tried though,
that I made the effort is a comfort...

Flares

2008-04-03T23:52:00.004+01:00

Have you ever noticed how similar people look
When you skim through a seventies book
Have you ever noticed how the men
All have the same hair
And nearly everybody wears
Trousers with flares, trousers with flares, trousers with flares.

The Catch by Simon Armitage

2008-03-29T18:59:00.005Z

Forget
the long, smouldering
afternoon. It is

this moment
when the ball scoots
off the edge

of the bat; upwards,
backwards, falling
seemingly

beyond him
yet he reaches
and picks it

out
of its loop
like

an apple
from a branch,
the first of the season.

Diggerly Diggerly

2008-03-23T13:21:00.004Z

The diggerly diggerly don't
Decided to diggerly do
They said it diggerly won't
But the diggerly will show you.

The diggerly diggerly did
What they didn't think it would
Diggerly it did they did admid
Just to prove it diggerly could.

Made of Concrete

2008-03-18T20:12:00.003Z

I used to drink too much
But then I saw
A documentary on the war
Two pilots crashed and had to endure
Three long days without water
And to survive they sucked on a stone
It helps with the thirst
So I sucked on a stone

But damn this world
It’s made of concrete,
Paving slabs and tarmac
And now I want my life back

I used to drink too much
And I should have predicted
That I would get addicted
Because as anyone can see
It’s in my personality

But damn this world
It’s made of concrete,
Paving slabs and tarmac
And now I want my life back

And so does mother earth
She wants her mud back
Loose the ugly clothes we’ve dressed her in
The other planets laugh at her

But damn this world
It’s made of concrete,
Paving slabs and tarmac
And now I want my life back

It would be better
To die a drinking rebel
Than a weirdo
Sucking on a pebble

But I wouldn’t have a
Problem if this
World
Wasn’t made of concrete,
Paving slabs and tarmac
And now I want my life back.

Smallscale Confusion

2008-03-16T18:56:00.003Z

what a
otter
you gotta
in your jotter

he exclaimed.

an otter
in my jotter?
its notta:
its a squatter

i explained.

Bhudda

2008-03-02T16:57:00.005Z

When I said I was
Gonna be a Bhudda
You shoulda seen
The vicar's face
Oh yeah, you shoulda.

Albers

2008-03-02T14:27:00.008Z

love proud

2008-02-13T23:21:00.001Z

we must make others queasy
but loving you is easy
and i know that this is cheesey:
will you be my valentines, pleasey?

lips

2008-02-13T23:07:00.004Z

Paper and People by Charles Bukowski

2008-01-30T20:09:00.003Z

there is just too much PAPER everywhere and
the 5 drawers of this desk are also stuffed
with IT and I have no idea what most of it
means.

about once every two months I attempt to
clean this room, I fill trash bags with paper
and etc. until my desk and the floor are almost
clean
but then
more PAPER arrives,
more manuscripts from poets, more letters from
poets and others, more magazines, more more
more
I can't keep up with it all
and I wonder if anyone besides myself
has to keep fighting the arrival of floods of
PAPER?
I don't seem to have the time to keep up with
it and i wonder if other people
have this problem too?
I don't think so
because they seem to have nothing but time
to kill,
they don't seem to know what to do with themselves,
they
work crossword puzzles, play Scrabble, they
watch tv, they go visiting, go sit on
someone else's couch and talk for hours or they
visit museums or they go to 3 movies a week. they
seem to have endless time to waste
and I have no time at all, I am fighting this
relentless tide of PAPER, all of which must be
gone through carefully because it often contains
notices from the IRS or unpaid bills.
yes, other people don't seem to have this
problem with PAPER PAPER PAPER gathering
everywhere, stacked upon itself,
and when people come to visit and
shoot my hours through the head they
offer nothing interesting or constructive.
I find myself resenting them and
their chatter
their idle ways
since I am always fighting for each minute,
a minute to straighten this out or that
out
and as I sit with them and their chatter,
as all the minutes are murdered,
I find that they themselves are like ACCUMULATED
PAPER,
you have to get rid of them
before they overwhelm and smother you.

am I the only one with this
problem?
PAPER and PEOPLE, such a waste,
such a terrible
waste.

your ship building skills

2008-01-17T23:57:00.004Z

If I were to grow my hair
Long enough
For you to use your ship building skills
To mould a vessel to sail the seas
And venture wherever you pleased
Would you continue
Despite the knowledge that in doing so would cause me to drown?
If so, I do not wish to be your friend.

small but important differences that i have noticed between people

2008-01-17T23:54:00.001Z

some say bogey
some say snot

some say have
and some say got

and some don't say
cos they forgot

mole

2008-01-17T23:51:00.002Z

i had a mole
that was confused
about what type of mole he was.

i said
you are just a brown circle
who lives quietly on my skin.

but he wanted
to make a hill.

i don't know where he got that idea from.

No Tapir

2008-01-15T23:13:00.002Z

You're nothing without a Tapir
So don't look at me
Don't talk to me
Don't think you are my equal
Come back here
Be a man
And make a Tapir sequel